Mean Betty Says, “Release The Kraken On The Housewives!”
RHOBH Taylor Armstrong is writing a book, Adrienne Maloof designs shoes — gawd no! — what else is coming down the pike?!
-Mean Betty
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Lambies, what a Monday to wake up to! It was announced over the weekend that Taylor Armstrong, the duck-lipped one of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, will be releasing Hiding from Reality: My Story of Love, Loss, and Finding the Courage Within this February.
This 272 page novel memoir will detail her ofttimes troubled marriage to her deceased husband Russell. Talk about kicking a dead horse! Taylor told Entertainment Tonight, “I think the tragedy has allowed me to write even more effectively because now that the person that I struggled with in an unhealthy relationship is completely out of my life,” she said. “I’m able to be very objective about how unhealthy our relationship was and what we each brought into the relationship and I feel like that distance, although it’s been incredibly painful, has also given me new insight into our situation.”
Kittens, would you really shell out your hard-earned cash for this? Mean Betty would rather clean the pool herself (like that would really happen) than buy Taylor’s book.
Meanie often is astounded by the juggernaut that is Bravo’s Housewives franchise. Not only is Taylor writing a book, fellow castmate Adrienne Maloof has a line of shoes coming out. If you saw the most recent episode of RHOBH, you saw the fashion show Adrienne put on with designer Kevan Hall. What was interesting about the fashion show was that we only saw two pairs of shoes on the runway! It was a high heeled sandal in black and nude. Oh lambkins, did Meanie mention that the shoes are co-designed by the venerable shoe firm Charles Jourdan? Hmm, and how much design input did the Maloof really have? One can’t help but wonder if she really studied the many and varied tomes of shoe design — or just looks at designs created by the Jourdan team, sticks out her finger and says, “Pretty! Pretty shoes!”
If you want to buy a pair, they run from $149 to $1500. You can pre-order them now at isaay.com.
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Lest we forget, other Housewives have ventured into the land of fashion too. Jill Zarin’s been trying to make successful go at it since RHONY premiered. Her latest grasp is her line of shapewear: Skweez Couture. It can be found online and at Lord & Taylor. Although one wonders how long before it goes into the clearance racks.
Real Housewives of Atlanta Kim Zolciak has a line of jewelry that can only be bought online; her clothing e-shop seems to have vanished. And speaking of vanishing clothes companies, Bravo’s biggest fashion joke was and still is RHOFA’s Sheree Whitfield’s She by Sheree line. Not only did she have a presentation without clothing on one of the episodes, the line has become a running joke for the network. Almost any time a guest appears on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live show, he asks them if they’re wearing “She by Sheree.”
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In true Bravo fashion (pardon the pun) Sheree Whitfield blames the entire city of Atlanta for being a designer without a design, fabric and everything else. She told Honeymag.com, “…And being in Atlanta it’s very hard. If I was in L.A., if I was in New York, if I was in Paris, you have those type (sic) of like-minded people. I can’t find people with the same business sense that I have.”
Each Real Housewife of something or other feels that she’s a fashion icon — who doesn’t love a legend in her own mind? (Kittens, can we forget the epitome of leopard-wear that is RHONJ Theresa Guidice’s line, aptly called, TG Fabulicious?)
What started out as cinema verite on the topic of sad, over-privileged, over-indulged and generally bitchy brainless housewives has turned into a mall of bad taste.
Mean Betty wonders how she can get on a Bravo show as she has a line of margaritas to sell. Oh it’s been done? Hmm, but at least Meanie’s drinks will use better tequila than Bethenny Frankel’s!
xo,
Mean Betty